It's hard to imagine that it is now over a year ago I spotted Tiger Cub standing at the Dusseldorf Germany Airport baggage claim on a Sunday morning, hung over and disheveled. Who would have imagined that a week later I would see him again, be living with him 90 days later and now a year later still going strong. I'm one lucky Mofo.
TC is yelping on the phone, I've been hedging about our relationship, setting up potentials for an out and he's not happy about that. He's in Toronto, me in Washington, DC. There is a whole side of me that TC doesn't know, but he also knows a side I rarely let anyone know. It scares me how much I have revealed. We've seen each other's darkest and brightest side, we're good complements. I, the more sensible one, he the more sensitive side. We bicker and squabble like an old married couple, romp around like two kids and stick together like high school flames. He's my brown cub and I love him and he loves me. Our story continues, full stop, a committment, a promise, an emotion.
But 2009 has to be about coming together. I wanna get ahead of the game and the sooner I can collapse my world's the better. Family, friends, work, the world — all need to know about me, Tiger Cub, my life, situation or however you wish to define it. I could give a rat's ass if you don't like it. This being closeted, "out" to a select few or some other dribble seems like a cop out, a life less lived.
I'm not necessarily advocating wearing one's sexuality on your arm, but not shrug from it either. A lot of guys seem scared to admit it or even go to lengths to hide themselves. I'm in that stage today and it's not good. Not good at all. I have to push myself. If TC is my partner, someone I trust and value, then he is a part of my life for all to see.
People will accept you as you are, I think, if you accept yourself. So like a bad golf game, I'm playing against myself, which I hate doing and losing to yourself is even worse, but I will play the round and I will try not to lose.