OK, I’ll admit it. I’m guilty. I love my Blackberry. Like Pavlov’s dog, when it beeps, I wanna look. I was out to dinner with someone new a few nights back and they kept looking at their text messages and answering calls from their friends. Every time they did that I kept thinking, “are you interesting in being here with me or are we both wasting our time”. We’re booked to go out again, but nonetheless, I felt a bit slighted by his actions.
I recognize I do this as well, if I don’t like it, I shouldn’t do it to others. But let me flip this to my advantage. So last night, new person, out to dinner (yes my expenses are running over-th). Sitting down, I noticeably whip out my phone in front of him (I specialize in whipping things out) and power my mobile down and lay it in the middle of the table like a dead mouse.
“What are you doing?”, he asks. I reply, ” I want to focus on getting to know you and don’t want any distractions”. Priceless return stare. You could see in his eyes the board ringing up the points I’d just scored with this simple little gesture. Everyone likes to be the center of attention.
I’m going to use this “trick” more often. Though not really a trick, it sends a clear signal to the other person about your intent and interest and hopefully they’ll respond similarly as well. If you’re not interested in being with someone, then don’t.