My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Can’t get no satisfaction

Men are dogs and I should know being a prime woofer that I am. Last night at the building gym there were 2 incredibly cute Asian guys working out and I was admiring the art work when Scrappy rang. I hate his ability to tell nearly instantly what I’m doing. I can breath slightly differently and he knows something is afoot.  He immediately asked if I was stalking Asians in the gym (I’m working my way up to white dudes as well as part of my equal opportunity policy). Can’t I do anything uninterrupted???

Unfortunately, the man on my mind at night as crazy as it may sound, Eduardo, the Mexican from long ago, now living in Paris. I haven’t spoken (much less seen) him in well over 2 years. How can he be on my mind? But he is. I google’d about and he was on some fashion website with picture of various items he liked (could he get any more gay??) and there was a photo of him using a Hermes scarf as blindfold on a plane with the caption, “I need this plus drugs for my trip to HK.”

Well fuck me. He came to HK otherwise known as Hong Kong and didn’t call? Come spend the night? Let me take him to dinner? Hold his hand? Show him the town? Wine n’ dine. The things I do best. I hate these fucking homos who develop some sense of sensibility. How am I to maintain my sleazy ways? Ah I was hurt for moment, but realized, what would be the point.

It would amount to the world’s first death by evil eye. “Scrappy, I’m taking Eduardo to dinner since he’s visiting, that’s no biggie is it?” Flash of light, poof and bit of smoke is all you would see. What guy or girl truly wants to be a mistress or even worse a long distance mistress. But why does this guy linger in my mind? What does this mean?

Scrappy is totally loyal and he clearly plays the emotionally stronger one despite his age. He’s found plenty to do in the active HK fashion scene and I’m happy when I have a night alone as he puffs around with a bunch of bitches yapping about couture. My fashion style is the ever popular, “I don’t give a shit” which ensures I’m properly dressed for nearly any occasion.

I am struggling though with some deep desire to reach outside my cage and swat around. Is this just me being a man? Does Scrappy do this but I’m just blind? Or am I confronted with the perpetual gay issue of how to be happy with your partner? A desire to get that new car.

I often myself arguing about the cards I’ve been dealt. Oh those are bad cards. I wish I had other cards. I know I should focus on playing the cards I have on the table. Making the best of it and most of the time I have a good hand comparatively. But yet I often daydream about life without Scrappy. Off the leash, prowling at will, ah the good life. Or is it? Definitely not, I mowed the grass in that yard a few times already.

1 Comment

  1. sigh its like reading my life journey…

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