My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Boys met boys

Single in the City is here in DC and sick. Good thing he’s with his mommy. During our last get together, he told me a story that I listened to, but didn’t register until now and I hope he won’t mind me retelling it. We’re guilty of not listening to others, but often far more guilty of not listening to ourselves.

Single Guy is droning on and on (and on, and on) about his quest for ‘true’ love while professing how ‘happy’ he is alone. Yet another day in the gayborhood.  He’s telling me about his ‘type’ and we’re not talking blood here. But in the midst of that, he gets all misty on me about when he first arrived in Australia and somehow found himself with an older hairy Middle Eastern guy (I lost interested at the first adjective). He regaled how they got along  and how they seemed to operate in unison. But he was newly arrived and eager to check out the fresh fruit, impatient young man, he ditched the old guy and made his way into Oz.

What’s interesting is this lovely man had none of the physical attributes that Single Guy seems to be looking for. In fact, almost of the opposite. But there was clearly a spark, a connection, some nonverbal clue was communicated. Perhaps there is a lesson for all of us here.

Prof. Tim and I chatting on this snow day in DC (Ok, it didn’t snow, but the armed forces were ready), he is retelling me how he’s effectively never met anyone of merit in a bar and that all his meaningful connections have either been random or via a mutual friend (I shall not mention the troll again for fear of setting off the time bomb in conflictingclarity).

OKcupid allows you to sort by up to 16 criteria. You can almost make a pinpoint moon landing of what you ‘want’, but is that really want you want. Similar to Single Guy, I’m intrigued with putting gay men together. Might be a business here. But what’s it’s mainly about is getting people together at the dog pound, getting them to roam about, give each other a good sniff, ensure they should up with the right attitude, leave the attitude at home, be open, be open to finding that special person in their life.

I hope Single Guy gets better, had to have to bury him here, ground all frozen up, mother crying.


  1. Oh no! SG is sick? Good thing mommy is there to provide the TLC he says he is searching for. SG’s story reminds us that love works in funny ways, you learn to love the guys you find attractive and not necessarily the other way around.

  2. There is a lesson in there. If someone is looking to score a quickie, then maybe physical looks is all that is important. But if a real and lasting, relationship is desired, there are other things that are much more important. It takes a little time and effort to discover if someone has the desired qualities (and these vary by individual), but if they are there, the payoff can be great.

    I hope everyone is feeling better soon.

  3. You are just full of love aren’t you. I never said I was happy being single! I am not. I’m just continuing with life…if God gave you lemons..make lemonade….. I think my dream man will have very little of my desired attributes. It will just be a connection.

  4. SG: You make for some delicious lemonade. Give us a little taste. 🙂

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