My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Boys, I’m talking about mine

Image302 Every year for the past 15 years, my family has moved to Europe for the summer. They hole up in Munich with grandma, huge house, each with their own bedroom. After about a week, they all switch over to the German language, my youngest on the phone often forgetting he normally speaks English with me. It’s a great opportunity and maintains their European roots, I’m happy it’s a possibility.

It’s hard for the pure gay guy to fathom what having kids are like, must be pretty great is the thought. The reality is it’s harder than it looks and I’m not such a great dad, I’m a much better playmate or friend, I worry whether I’m providing the leadership or backbone teenage boys need. Could I be a better father and how do I do it now? I suspect many fathers wonder the same.

But that’s the thing, boys become men and men become husbands and fathers and we do the best we can. I’m doing the best I can. But I can always do better. It’s like getting one more squeeze out of that tube of toothpaste, you know it’s in there, just a bit more effort, patience and success will be at hand.

So with that in mind, I’m arranging my kids to come visit me for a week, we’ll hang out, watch TV, look around and get on each other’s nerves, but that’s what dad’s do, so I’m gonna do it. You’ll never learn to fly an airplane by reading a book.


  1. You are an amazing father. I have two kids of my own, much younger than yours (9 and 11), but I know what you mean about the time and effort. They live with me 50% of their time, with their mom their other 50%. Sometimes, I think my life is all about them. However, the rewards far outweigh the drawybacks (if any). I’m amazed at how well you are able to juggle your social life, your relationship with your lover and your ex wife, your busy job, and your kids. Hats off to you; I couldn’t do it. That’s why I read your post though; it’s an inspiration.

  2. One of the best things a dad can do for his kids is simply to be there. You sound like a great dad.

  3. That is so true. We dads do the best we can and feel guilty we didn’t do enough.
    My kids are in their early 20s so no second chances for me, but I still keep trying. They are always going to be out little ones, I guess.
    Great opportunity that yours are bilingual.

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