I got a lunchtime lecture from William. He had sent me a note to go out for drinks tonight and I took this as an opportunity to see if “Asian Delight” (see other posting) wanted to go as well (dog that I am) and sent him an email. William retracted his invite upon hearing.

“What are you doing? You made your decision, now live with it”, he sternly said to me.

William, there are a ton of guys in my situation who for years sneak around behind their wives backs, hitting gay.com, craigslist, manhunt, finding other married men. You don’t understand, this is very difficult. I’m not alone here.

You’re not them. And they aren’t being honest to their families and spouses and more importantly to themselves. They want their cake and eat it too. They’re commiserating with others in similar situations wishing that what they are doing is OK. It’s not and they shouldn’t. In the end, they’re just making it a bigger disaster for all involved.

William was on a roll now. It’s OK to like guys! But you’re IN A RELATIONSHIP, so what if it’s a women. You committed to being monogamous to that person. If you’re going out to meet me as a friend, fine, but if you’re trolling for your next toy, it ain’t fine. Sigh. I expect better from you, I know you are better than that, he concluded.

I whimpered a bit, looking for some excuse that would make sense to him and me. But there wasn’t one. He’s right. I hate it. But I’m still not giving up the porn.