I am with my sons visiting their North Carolina grandparents. The beaches are nice, but the setting is sleepy Southern provincial. “How ya’ll doing?” together with heat n’ humidity. My thoughts getting hazy
My mother and father divorced when I was 10. My mother, hellbent to have cash, re-married for all of the wrong reasons to some hapless man that she could control. They eventually divorced as well, but by then we were grown, she had the house, mission accomplished. I never felt she had any love for this man, definitely not much companionship and sex was a once a month perfunctory duty.
My father, on the other hand, married 2 more times and I always felt an element of love, companionship and sexual attraction in all of the various relationships he’s had.
But my mother has been alone now for 20+ years. No dates, no sex and no male companionship. Why?
She would be embarassed if I were to to ask questions. Years ago, I had asked about her dating other guys, a childhood curiosity. I was left with the impression that men weren’t ever much of a factor in her life.
Is my mother a lesbian? Who knows and who cares.
I know that in the hunt for Mr. Right. there is often moments where you might settle for “Mr. Alright” (or the classic “Mr. Alright for tonight”), convince yourself that ‘friends are more important’ or simply accept defeat.
TC, scruffy brown with black hair mop, awoke something in me. I get incredibily mad at him. Drives me crazy with his behaviour. But the electricity is in the air when we’re in a room, his friends even giggle watching our dynamics. I am very much alive. A rainbow of emotions run rampant when we are together.
Whether our relationship makes it thru the narrow pass, I have no idea. But if it should fail, I would want that feeling again from the next person. I’m not willing to compromise, convince myself otherwise or simply be scared of being alone. They are out there and I must find them.
I want this for you as well. You too deserve to experience the magic. If you’re in a bad relationship, get out of it. If you’re settling, stop. If you’re scared, well you should be, that’s part of the magic, life has begun.