I’m out at dinner with my oldest son. He wants to go to MIT. Sadly he has the grades, sadly, I will no longer be able to afford two brown Mexicans. I’m gonna have to settle for Central American and probably only one at that. Life just sucks.
He listens to me though. “I am going to school to learn”, he reasons with me. But what about the culture of the school, I ask. Will you fit in? Is this the right learning environment for YOU? Will you be happy? He looks at me. “What does happiness have to do with anything, I’m going to learn and I want to learn at the best possible place”, he shoots a glance back across to me. Arrogant and confident.
Ah 17 and he’s helluva a lot smarter than I am. He wants to run the race. Be the champ. Make his mark. His old man and that would be me, is happy to do as little as possible, whisper a thought in someone’s head and watch them run with it, build on it, make it their own. Success is so much faster when you can collectively harness the energy of a group. Unfortunately, he still sees himself in the race alone. I understand.
TC is practically bags packed sitting at the airport. He’s excited to see me. Excited to be going somewhere, someplace, the adventure is on. It’s nearing the end of the day and we’ve spoken 18 times today. He calls, barks a few times, yelps about something and rings off. My god it’s at least interesting if not downright funny. I chuckle often. His last call was a warning that I couldn’t cheat on him while I was enroute. He was serious, I wasn’t. Such if a day in life of a Siberian snow tiger.
As I go along, I am learning to appreciate things. I appreciate my son thinking big. I appreciate that he’s trying to listen to me. I appreciate the constant attention one little brown tiger tends to shine on me and I appreciate this same tiger trying to make me feel like I have some game left in me (which I don’t).
What I am coming to peace with is that along life’s way and particularly along the homo way, you will encounter people who want to make you feel ill at ease, uncomfortable with yourself, annoyed with whoever or whatever you stand for. You may be treated poorly, left to doubt yourself, alone. But the old man in me is recognizing, best to wave them on thru this traffic signal, let them hurry on to whatever destination awaits, for should not be your desired destination. Most of all be happy.