Early July 2006 – This whole gay bar thing isn’t working out like I’d hoped. It was too scary meeting men off the street. I needed someone I already knew and could trust. Ramez, in Mexico City, was that person.

On the phone with Ramez, "could I please come visit again?" He wasn’t sure, the whole thing was a bit too much for him. But OK, come down. I quickly did the planning. Arriving mid-afternoon on a Friday, I checked into a hotel and waited for Ramez to end his work day which runs into the early evening. He confirmed he would pick me up at 8 p.m. One of his friends, who I met on the first trip, lives nearby and came over to take me to a late lunch. At 8:30 p.m., he calls, he’s driving home, he’s tired, "can we get together tomorrow", he asks. OK, I say, but I was clearly upset, holed up in a hotel on a Friday night by myself.

Saturday morning, I call again, he wants to go to his Pilates class, can we meet after lunch. That’s it! I blow my top on the phone. I’m freaking pissed off, I travel all the way here to be treated like this? Why didn’t he tell me before I got on the plane. Screw you, screw me. It’s clear, the weekend is over.

I’m still sitting in the hotel, it’s now early afternoon, I don’t speak Spanish, Mexico City isn’t a wander around city either, I’m stewing. The phone rings, it’s Ramez’s friend, he’s in the lobby, he wants to see me. Coming up to my room, it’s clear, he wants to see all of me and I in turn get to see all of him. He’d had a crush on me since my first trip and now, well I was a free agent. We spend the remainder of the afternoon together in bed. Grabbing a late lunch, he says he can’t take me out tonight and alone I am in the hotel Saturday night as well. I change my return flight and depart Mexico City early Sunday morning.

Ramez is definitely a bit feminine and clearly I was seeing his bitch side. But I was starting to realize this whole gay thing was going to be much more complex than I envisioned.

Prologue – Ramez and I eventually make up. He only contacts me when he has a problem but otherwise we don’t communicate. It’s very one-sided in more than one ways, who’s giving and who’s receiving.