My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Aye aye captain

Are you a good listener? It’s always a challenge to really and I mean really listen to someone. I love those who I can just see waiting to jump in at the next interval and ask a question. But what kind of a listener are you?

I’m a solver listener. When you talk I’m thinking, how can I help you? But sometimes people aren’t looking for advice. The problem is when you offer advice, you’re not listening any more, you’re in a conversation, back n’ forth and it now requires the other party to listen, when in fact, they wanna talk (who doesn’t want to right?).

I realized late yesterday afternoon that TC just needs me to listen to him. Listen without comment or advice. Let him just talk it all out. He’s got plenty of family members and friends trying to council him now, but no one is just letting him talk.

My friends are older and they don’t offer me any advice about the situation with Chris. I’m a big boy, all grown up. They know it. But TC’s friends aren’t, they’re just young and they know everything and happy to tell you they do, I can imagine his friends, “you’re going to run off to Germany with a still married 47 year old with two kids, are you crazy, why don’t you {insert some useless dribble, like get a job at McDonald’s}”.

The reality is TC’s life is all f*’d up. My life is f*’d up and likely your life is as well. Welcome to your own reality TV show. We’re all just a little screwed up aren’t we now? You’re living it too, huh? I don’t worry about minor day to day course changes, the real question is the ship “in general” heading in the right direction. Too much focus on exact course bearings is needless worry, the game is bigger.

TC doesn’t want to become a professional gay guy, he loves me, he wants to get out of Toronto, he’d happily sail along with me and to find his footing on his own timing. That’s all he needs to know, everything else is just tacking with the wind. So come sail away with me.


  1. You keep blogging I’ll keep listening……

  2. Sweet! I can’t wait to read a post that states that TC is now aboard the “USS Chris”! 🙂

  3. Why does everyone give your boyfriend such a hard time about being with you? I don’t get that. Love your blog. Keep writing and will keep reading.

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