My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Anything Goes

Had email’d Clay, the guy I was working with on organizing social gatherings, I was apologizing for not staying in touch. He wrote back, “It’s Gay Pride month, with which there are longstanding issues, as I’m sure you know. I’m trying to participate while avoiding the negative behavior common at Gay Prides.”

WTF does that mean? He then goes on for 2 more paragraphs about how he’s trying to organize this and for the next event “so it’s not the same old tired, standing and modeling gay queens with $15 cocktails talking about others.”

In NYC, the 37 yo ex-Marine who operated as our tour guide for the night, was explaining how he couldn’t stay out all night as he had a live-in girlfriend. We didn’t ask many questions, but he felt compelled to tell us how he was bi and it was “OK” and he only came ‘out’ a few times a year, whatever that meant.

What I have learned is that Anything Goes in the gay world. An I mean anything. Unfortunately, this includes some very self destructive behaviour. The “I’m only whoring around until I find the right person” type or the “Princess & the Pea” who can find fault with anyone they meet, all the while compelled to tell you not to judge them by what they do, but rather with what they liked to do.

Perhaps my sense are overly tuned, but I do find most gay guys have a huge fake facade trying to mask who they really are. ¬†I write this simply as an observation. You have to own who you are, it’s that simple. There are however no rules that indicate you have to fall into these¬†categories, this is a roll your own experience, so figure out what you want to be and just do it.

TC Update: Communications are falling off, we’re only speaking 15 times a day now, morning, noon, night and middle of the night (sic). I got myself a Toronto telephone number and TC with his unlimited wireless plan can ‘test’ the limits. We’re hanging tight, common mission.

1 Comment

  1. The fact that anything goes can be a bad thing in the gay world. In the married world….you get married, procreate and retire. Yes..boring but at least there is a plan. In the gay world, anything goes…no plan but that means that you have no plan…which can be bad for some of us!!

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