My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Another brick in the wall

I struggle to write to you this morning. So much to say but with so little meaning. TC while wandering down a crooked Paris street, turned and commented to me that I write this blog mainly to condone my own bad behaviour and avoid dealing with things in my life. He has these random moments of such wisdom. He wandered further on. I was left to think about what he had said. Perhaps he is right.

Below the Radar guy was writing about how hard it was to meet people.  Single in the City bemoans various aspects of relationships gone bad.  Journey by myself dude always asking himself why he can’t make any progress. Conflicting Clarity spends his time protecting his wife, who doesn’t need protecting, it’s he who needs protecting. An I just bitch in general. Well just boo hoo for all of us.

For each of the above guys, you know exactly what their problem is and what they need to do to cure themselves. Maybe you see a bit of yourself in the writing.  But we write on and on, circling the airport, but never landing, often oblivious to the obvious answer right before our eyes and entertaining you as we go.

The answer is that once the never ending aspirations of youth are gone, the cold dank reality that life can be quite lonely dawns with a chill up your spine. We just don’t like it. You realize the limited depth of any friendship and strive to find that one special person in that shimmering sea of sewage called mankind with whom you can connect with. Gay, straight or whatever – it’s a common goal for all of us.

I’m upset about the whole TC situation and I’m powerless to change it, but it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all (or so the script is written).

We all make our lives far to complicated perhaps because we can or perhaps because we don’t like the simple but elegant answer that is right before us.

5 Comments

  1. Does writing help you??? you are a great writer!

  2. Cheer up! I have the feeling that TC will be back sooner than you expected. Remember that love is a powerful thing!

  3. We all experience the ups and downs… I am greatful that mine is on the up side right now. I have a man that truly loves me, that I love in return… Everything happens for a reason and returns if it’s right. Maybe that’s where you and TC are?

    Regards

    Tom

  4. Chris,
    I have to respectfully disagree with TC. You are using this blog to explore your thoughts and feelings, and eventually deal with issues in your life. Of course, we all want to justify ourselves – maybe he expects a bit more self-flagellation on your part, but you aren’t the guilt-ridden type like some of us.

    And as for your relationship with TC, I have to hope for the best for both of you. Your blog has been an inspiration for me personally, but I only happened to check back on it the other day and get caught up over the last few months. I love reading your ramblings, but I would be happier when you and TC are able to sink back into a stable relationship again and we never read about you again.

  5. Well it looks like you have me pegged. The more I see that my wife does not need protecting the more progress I think I can make for myself. And yes, I probably need some protecting too.

    I think this is an insightful view of all us, airport circlers.

Comments are closed.

© 2020 My Trip Out

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑