My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Angry young man

I’m reading my posts of the last few weeks and it reads like some angry young man journal. Bitch, bitch, complain, complain. But I look at the visitor log and wonder just why the hell you come around here each day to read me ranting about something. It’s when I think about you.

Looking back, I’m bordering 600 posts and almost three years into this, I gotta move on. The reality is there have been some very distinct phases of this married guy goes gay story. The (1) self discovery, (2) the brutal home wrecking portion, (3) the whoring around, (4) making peace with the family and (5) settling down. Now perhaps I had an all too brief ‘whoring’ around period, but how long do you have to be a whore before you know the drill? I’m clearly in Phase #5 here.

As I’ve written before Step #1 is hard, Step #2 can consume you forever if you’re not carefully and Step#3 (the whoring around) can become a lifetime, if you let it. Guys – all I can say is hurry and get to Phase #5 as fast as you can, the other Phases have many barbed edges.

The anger I have though is for TC. This tiny 130 lb disorganized brown stick, who can’t seem to figure out whether he’s saying hello or good bye to me. Like a wad of chewing gum stuck on your shoe, I feel his presence with each step and I can’t seem to simply scrap it away. He called tonight, at his auntie’s house in middle of who cares England, curled up, his tail twitching,  to say ‘good night’. He’s sweet and syrupy and you know what, he’s the real deal. He can’t start or end his day without me.

But I/we/us/them/the universe has created a situation that is a labyrinth for our mutual relationship and I simply don’t know what to do. This is no longer a ‘coming out blog for gay married men’ this is a what the hell I am going to do with my life story and the good news, I hopefully appeal to a bigger audience.

I know that the issues I face may be trivial compared to real situations in your own life and hope that in some misguided way that my comical musings, rantings and uber-opinions on virtually everything help you in some warped way.

3 Comments

  1. I enjoy your blog for the light-hearted manner in which you present your situation, whatever phase you are currently working through. Putting it all in perspective helps to deal with the issue, as opposed to constantly worrying about what to do, when to do it and what’s next. Yes, coming out in midlife is stressful, but we are not dealing with the death of a loved one or facing the unfortunate diagnosis of a fatal cancer.
    You blog has been tremendously helpful in my journey and I would venture to guess that you have helped many others also.
    Paul, who used to write “Coming Out at 48”, has successfully transitioned his blog, now “Coming Out…Staying Out”, and writes about topics pertaining to the everyday life of a middle aged gay man. Of course yours Chris would be about the not angry anymore everyday life of a “young” gay man. Your writing style is enjoyable to read, and I would look forward to your perspective, musings and rantings as you continue your journey.

  2. What about the married with kids gay men living in a cold and harsh society, and he can do nothing about it except vent his despair and frustrations on his family?

  3. You are finally becoming a gay man! welcome..bitchy…obsessed with relationships and jaded..OMG..you’re me!

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