My friend Carlos is nice, well spoken, caring and well dressed man. He’d be a perfect partner for someone. Yet, at 37, he’s still looking. So where I ask are the settled gay couples? Well obviously not hanging out in local hook-up bars.
I imparted to him Prof. Tim’s words of wisdom. If you meet someone you fancy, have a little chat, get their phone number, leave them the hell alone and call them the next day to arrange a proper meeting. One hour in a quiet spot with both parties semi-sober is enough to quickly tell you whether there is more there. Seems a minor investment of your time.
But guys often find themselves attached to someone in a bar, chatting the whole night, a sloppy make-out session in a back alley, maybe a hook-up and then what? Nothing. Like a bad TV series, we find ourselves in this cyclical type of relationship.
Guys, horny as they are, all too often sleep together on the first date. “He’s cute”, generally being enough to get naked. I’d like to adopt a 3 date minimum before you get to see my underwear. The argument, I often get, is that if the “sex is bad”, well why bother getting to know someone. But isn’t the sex BETTER if you in fact know a bit about the other person. So if you’re really eager to have a relationship, can’t you keep your zipper up for 3 dates.
Real relationships can come together fast. If someone only wants to see you once a week, “see you next Friday maybe“, that’s not the sort of energy in a budding relationship. Sounds more like, you’re kinda of nice, but I’d like to keep my options opens. Well F off would be my response.
I mean you can meet for dinner on Friday, brunch perhaps on Sunday and drinks after work the following Wednesday. Bing, bang, boom – you’re at 3 dates. Honestly, if someone is hesitant about being around you, how is that supposed to get better?
I’ve also noticed gay guys love to text versus simply calling one another. One guy, I met months ago, continues to periodically text me, but never seems to want to lock down a date/time to meet. What’s the f’ing point? It’s much easier to text or email, you’re not likely to get your feelings hurt. But if your feelings are never satisfied, aren’t you better off calling and getting immediately disappointed?
Just my crazy observations, crazy person that I am.