I was the official photographer at Friday’s gay professional night out. A small group, it was held in the private area of a local bar. Low key, the group was interested in talking to one another and it was just what the doctor ordered.
I had just arrived when from out of nowhere came an Asian guy late 30’s, who I haven’t seen in well over 2 years. He had seen me come in and rushed over to say hello and give me a big hug, though I was sweating from the outside humidity. He’s never tried to reach out to me, but he quickly gave me his telephone number and told me “you should call me”. It was a nice feeling to be wanted.
He stayed and chatted for a few minutes (he knew someone else – the gay world is after all small). In the midst of this, he started talking about some issue with his old boyfriend, they’d had broken up when I’d first meet him, from the sounds of it, he doesn’t have a new love interest and sorta toys with his old one. It’s testament to what I’ve witnessed in the gay world, once you get in tight with someone, it’s almost impossible to be fully away from them. I surmise it’s because it’s so difficult to ‘get in tight’ and once you’ve had it, you don’t wanna lose it and while you’re ‘looking’ for your next gig, why not keep up the emotional connection.
In fact, I saw this behaviour early on, one of my first regular hook-ups talked on and on about his previous boyfriend. It all sounded so fresh, like it was yesterday, but only after a bit of questioning did I find out they had broken up over 5 years previous.
Everyone wants someone to be with and to feel protected and loved. Finding someone like that isn’t easy. I’m regretting being away from TC. Minutes I cannot recover.