My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Ah crap

I’m sitting in a pair of torn shorts, blue T-shirt and no shoes. I have started my business day. Life must be good.


Tiger Cub calling for third time last evening. I’m half asleep in bed. He’s doing a “bed check” and partially missing me. Right now his life is on hold, so is mine. He has some family obligations and can’t travel over until early July. I may have to make a quick trip if this drags out.


I still struggle with this whole situation. I have no idea what normal is. I suspected you meet someone, perhaps go out a bit and things either progress or they don’t. What you don’t do is hook-up with someone, immediately move in together for a couple of months, move countries around like a poorly though out game of Risk. And damn if I didn’t just go do that.


The worry is I’ve have no real gay relationships. I haven’t even really dated anyone. A series of little sexual exploits is all.  I sorta just fell in with TC and off I went. But how many relationships do I need to have? I didn’t date many woman before getting married so why do I need to go out with a bunch of guys?


TC is kinda of lost in his own life. He stumbles on me, a seasoned and grounded person, in the back of his mind he has to be saying “Chris can help me find my way in life”. Or he could be a wise 23 year old who after making out with 183 guys (his own number) figures it’s time to get a bit more serious.


Does this sound like the beginning of a solid long term relationship?


Relationships are a crap shoot. When it looks like it’s supposed to work, it doesn’t and when it doesn’t, it does. Who the hell knows. It seems only when it’s all over does great knowledge appear, “I should have known …”, sort of musings.


I wanna see where this goes, so I will.

4 Comments

  1. Chris,
    I had a few one night stands…..then I met Geoff and that was it. We moved in together and have been together since then (3 plus years). Mind you Geoff isn’t 23, but each situation is unique.
    Hell being gay is unique. Go and bring TC “home”.
    Mark

  2. It will go where it needs to go,which is absolute bliss. I can only imagine the very deep intellectual conversations that you and your cub have, and the simultaneous sexual tension and pleasure. As you said, you only dated your ex-wife/ stil wife (you still love her) for a few weeks (days?) and you had an immediate strong and faithful connection to her. Your connection to TC is exactly the same. He is such a bright starm, with so much to offer. He sees the world vibrantly, and has so much to teach all of us. Don’t let go of this little tiger; he is the best catch I have ever heard of, and so are you. Your strong bond is simply awe inspiring. I am so glad to see such honesty and faithfulness in a gay relationship. If only if, if only if I could find someone as remarkably intelligent and sexy as your TC. I’m jealous and impressed, all at the same time. You are the best!

  3. I keep forgetting to leave my URL. Here it is:
    http://the-day-after-suicide.blogspot.com/
    I was once listed as bay gay blog of the month, but it was not truly deserved. Your blog has an honesty and beauty that mine never had.

  4. Ya know, I think that way too sometimes like shouldn’t I have dated more before ‘settling down?’ This whole moving in with the bf makes me wonder as to whether we should have waited longer like the rest. But then, it’s different for everybody, what might work for one, doesn’t always work for the other.
    That’s great you and TC are making it work, it’s not often you find someone you’re in sync with, I think. It’s like it’s all laid out for you to meet each other, eventhough the chances were really slim 🙂
    Relationships are crrrazy but at the same time amazing. I’m rambling now, nite!

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