My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Adding to the list

TC is a bundle of nerves. His friends in Toronto asking him questions about his life and he unleashes a torrent of emotion on them. In a perfect world, he'd like to live with me in central London, working and enjoying life. Of course that's discounting work & residency permit issues and forgetting what I have on my plate at the moment.

Important though is what does TC really want? What's the root thing? The primary deal point. I think we often cloud our judgement by inserting too many considerations or variables in a personal decision.

Image366 It's simple – do we love each other and want to live together? If the answer is yes, then it doesn't matter whether that's in London, Cologne, New York, Washington or Virginia Beach. We can love each other anywhere and figuring out how to be together is mere logistics.

But if the answer is "I love you" but we have to live {insert name of city}, well now things have gotten conditional. Does it mean you don't love me if we don't leave in {city}. Not helping TC is each of his friends has their "opinion" on what he should do. We all ask for opinions from our friends, but none us ever seem to like the answer.

I encountered this dilemma in my own coming out. Was I gay? How gay? But I'm married. But the kids. But my friends/family. But my job. But my age. But but but. But the reality was I liked cock (sorry to be vulgar) and unfortunately that was the primary deal point. Everything after that was merely incidental.

So it basically boils down to what's important to you, it's not conditional or predicated on a sundry list of everything else. This is where you need to focus, think hard, and sadly no once else can help you.

 

1 Comment

  1. oh mine. he’s pretty demanding for someone with no job, no education (unless you left something out or I missed reading about), no ambition, no skills (you once or twice referred to him as a hairsytlist, but does he even have a license for that, or any training?). Sounds like sugar daddy is getting a little fed up.

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