My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story


TC and I are living the gay ‘married’ life. We’re both home bodies. Shop, cook dinner, eat on new little balcony, watch TV, off to bed. All rather boring.  We have little antics and bicker like any married couple do. I am trying to enjoy this peace.

We watched the movie “Broken Embraces” with Penelope Cruz, a few lines of dialog regarding the famous playwright Arthur Miller and a son with Down’s syndrome that he publicly failed to acknowledge,  had me searching the Internet this morning. The 2007 Vanity Fair article describes a truly awful family drama about how Miller failed to properly deal with it for decades. Even in death, he left it a twisted mess. It is a sad read for such a public and respected person.

Haiti has an earthquake, we rush to give money, though few of us could find it on the map, much less even know a Haitian. It’s easy, it’s anonymous, we feel better about ourselves. But to deal with someone in need closer to ourselves is a bit more personal. The minute one of our ‘friends’ has an issue, they suddenly become a Leper. Best not to discuss and even better to stay away from them and god please don’t try and aid them. Better to text HAITI to 90999 to give $10 to the Red Cross.

Out and about in February, I was talking to a young guy, 23, Middle Eastern from a wealthy family. He had come out to his family in last months and suddenly found himself incommunicado. Cast out of the family, though, lucky for him, his monthly allowance checks still arriving. He tried to be upbeat about it, even brash about his prospects. But deep down, he was in pain. Pain about who he was, pain about the loss of his family and pain about the uncertainty he was facing.

My young friend, I think, typifies what I found in so many in the gay world, upbeat, maybe a bit over the top, but with pain deep down, a struggle to deal with it, hide or confront it and deal with the reflected emotions from others in our lives.

In the end, it’s really all about you isn’t it. Are you happy with the decisions you’ve made? How you’ve dealt with the issues and people in your life. If you can close your book at the end of it all and say, “”I did the best I could”, well that’s all that anyone can ask. Sadly, Arthur Miller at 90 died with some unfinished business.


  1. “I did the best I could” is all anyone can ask of us.

  2. I DO the best I can every day… The only way I can be accepted by the “doubters” is to share my stories and experiences… Much like you do!



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