It is 4.30 a.m. in London and TC is out with his travel friend and a married girl. All are drunk and they’re in Chinatown, having what else, Chinese food. He’s growling at me about something that I can’t make out.
His travel friend, cute as a button, struggles to find the right person. One of TC’s old London roommates hasn’t dated in a year and is now in therapy (he thinks he’s no longer attractive) and the other roommate is dating someone he found online (much younger proper British twink – likely a bottom and two rights definitely don’t make a wrong).
I continue to read both my rabbi book and now gay relationships. The gay author is sounding like a big queen speaking from his throne. But I was intrigued as he wrote about the masculine and feminine sides to all of us. For the general population, gay men are supposed to be in touch with their feminine side. Perhaps that’s’ true. But guys are guys and the author believes many gay men struggle in a battle with their identity. TC is clearly a little girlie, but he occasionally snaps back to his ghetto Caribbean mode and tries to go all macho on me. As you are picturing, it’s quite an amusing sight. I recognize this crisis in many guys who often never find total comfort in themselves.
For the rabbi, he writes that all of us should work, work hard. He writes classic Hebrew story about how rich kept woman should get on their knees and scrub the floor every now and again. The reasoning is that an idle mind finds things to think about and it’s usually self centered, then we obsess about it to the point it’s annoying to others around and ultimately annoying to themselves. Hello therapist!
Single in the City, when he’s not busy thinking about me, is thinking about himself. Me, I’m droning on and on in this blog (but haven’t reached the Hello! Therapist point just yet). The rabbi’s point is valid for us all, we need to be kept busy otherwise we start thinking. Thinking about things that might not really matter. We are all recognizing the struggle gay relationships entail and likely a large amount of compromise is needed in order to make it work.
It’s now 12.30 p.m. in London, TC struggles with math, it’s 6.30 a.m. in Dallas, I’m dead asleep. The little brown tiger is calling. He’s horny and wants to hear my voice. He’s debating returning earlier for serious tiger time vowing not to leave the apartment for 2 days. This trip has rekindled his feelings and desires and not just sexual, he is realizing not only our companionship but as well with his friends, the challenges that we seemingly have overcome.
Just what I need, more tiger time.