My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

A thin white line

I’m walking a thin white line. A line between stupidity and bravery. I’m often left wondering which side I’m on. Often wishing I were on the other side. Seems I’m always wrong. So what.

I told TC that I’d like him to move out. That precipitated into a huge emotional discussion. I lost. He’s still here. I guess for the moment, I’m too weak, too tired and having someone here no matter how bad is better than no one. He’s gonna go soon anyways, so what.

I went out with my 37 yo Indonesian friend to my favorite Asian bar. He likes to paw a bit a me. So what. I’m chattering away with a hard body 20 something Columbian. I’m liking the banter, he’s playfully pawing me, until I realize it’s all about sex energy. I’ve got no more to offer. So what.

The art of conversation, capturing another’s mind and heart in words so lost in a gay hook-up scene. Where is the intellect? I wanna play a more sophisticated game. But so what.

I found myself giving TC a full body massage last night. Laid out on the living room floor, almost naked, he likes the erotic attention. I’m admiring his tight little body, I’m flush that someone like myself can land this fish. So what.

As the song from Cabaret tells us, you learn how to settle for what you get, it will all go on if we’re here or not, so who cares, so what.

1 Comment

  1. Chris,
    Will at least TC understands now that he is temporary……I think he always knew that but perfered your digs to his old ones. So what…..
    Mark

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