My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

A note to a friend

A long posting, but a potential roadmap for others. This is an email to my best friend of close to 20 years, a CEO of a known company and living for the last 10 years in Los Angeles.

Hello, hope you & the family enjoyed the holiday break.

As I close the books on 2007, wanted to clue you in on what’s been happening in my life. Through the up’s and down’s I’ve always considered you one of my best friends. It’s a rare person who knows you from where you’ve been to knowing where you’re going. They say to make friends you close one eye but to keep friends you have to often close both eyes. I think we’ve both done that at various points.

It now appears certain that XXX (my wife) and I will split up at some point in 2008. Not her fault, she’s a fantastic person. Sadly, I fell off the wagon and went gay. Yupper! YYY (his wife) scores again!!! See I told you this would be interesting. But tell YYY that despite much effort, I didn’t score in LA. So minus 1 (always a next time).

The story is long (as most of mine are), spans 4 continents, has spy intrigue and mystery elements but the general receipe starts with guys 1/2 my age and then goes up or down 5 years. It was a deep secret and would well have remained a hidden deposit until one special guy dug it out of me. But this story will have to be told in full. Typical me, I started writing about it on the Internet about a year ago, a “tell all” that would make proud. Now I’ve got readers in 49 countries many who write and a select few I’ve actually met. A daily cocktail party. I founded my own support group.  In the midst of all this, I’ve discovered I like to write, this could well be a book or a cheesy movie.

But in doing this I neglected the people who I’d most call family, you and others. It’s hard to bring people who knew me on one side into the other side, I’ve never doubted your support. 2008 is likely to be just as difficult so I may be leaning into you a bit.

I’m again off to London, Wed. Yes – there is a reason I’m hiding out there. And yes, another series of reasons why I’m hiding in Europe. This isn’t a good topic to cover in a telephone chat. It’s a very long story and YYY should hear all of it (the one chance in my life to have her full attention — Christ she might finally break out the good chocolate stash) so perhaps I’ll visit you early in the New Year (West Hollywood calling to me) and pour all the soap suds out.

I wish for you & the family to have a great New Year and look to see you soon. Thanks.


  1. Coming out is a long process…that sometimes never ends. Best of luck and all the best for 2008!

  2. Coming out to a best friend is perhaps the most important step… it’ll save u years. SO happy 4 u–awesome start to 08.

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