My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

A memory that won’t leave me

Rob is telling me he’s gets great comments when he posts a hot guy on his blog (sic). I’m trying it out today, more later on this guy to my left. So here’s my problem, it’s one I’ve been keeping from you. Had to, can’t be revealing my weaker side, gotta keep the front up.

So the problem is Eduardo. A 27 yo Mexican-American, born in the U.S. raised in Mexico, I met him at Halo (a gay DC bar), exchanged telephone numbers, called, arranged a nice dinner, we talked, a little kissy face, he agrees to go out 2 days later, I tell him I’m married, more kissy face. He writes me, sorry he likes me but can’t go out with a married guy. Very honourable, I am truly impressed. I persist (ok – stop the damn snickering, you know exactly how I operate, no is simply an uncoverted yes), he’s polite but pointed and somewhere the communications stop. If he sees me out, he’s polite but distance. Like the goofy kid I am at heart, I make attempts to communicate. The line is dead.

Well, the problem is I can’t stop thinking about him. I mean like as recent as today. It’s driving me crazy. We had a great but brief time together, now alas months ago. Despite the age difference, we talked about common values, things we were interested in. I respected him. I wanted to please him.

He’s got his own issues, sure we all do. But I imagined him snapping the line on me when I pushed my limits and rewarding me with his passion. He wanted to learn about things in life and I was happy to share my experiences. It just felt good with him, I realize I’m a quick judge, but it did. I wonder if he felt something as well?

So why? Why with this merry-go-round of other people circling me is he still bothering me. My heart won’t tell me.

P.S. The photo is of Ben Jelen, smoking isn’t he (images)? Model turned singer. Not sure he’s gay, but I might interest him in my 7-step, 3 easy payment program ….

4 Comments

  1. Emotions are stupid things. They keep you in the past.Stumbling blocks.
    It’s hard to not think about people you genuninely care about.
    Go on, maybe send him a line or two, just asking how he’s doing.But knowing you, that might be treading into dangerous territory.

  2. I think Eduardo made it abundetly clear to you that he doesn’t date (read here get invloved) with married men. Interestingly enough the one thing my “soon to be ex” asked me when I moved out was not to date a married man. She told me the hurt was tremendous. She has a point…..I know I have hurt her. I wasn’t brave enough to end our relationship before seeing guys. I guess I wanted the security of what I had and the ability to see what I might be getting.
    If you have these feelings for Eduardo and you hope that there might be some kind of future I think you need to respect what he’s told you…..from what you have said he’s made it abundtly clear how he stands.

  3. We all have issues. I think you will need to resolve one relationship in your life before you can start a new one! Glad to hear guys in DC want to date:)

  4. We all have issues..but Latino boys are the cutest. This guy could be my bro!

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