Rob is telling me he’s gets great comments when he posts a hot guy on his blog (sic). I’m trying it out today, more later on this guy to my left. So here’s my problem, it’s one I’ve been keeping from you. Had to, can’t be revealing my weaker side, gotta keep the front up.
So the problem is Eduardo. A 27 yo Mexican-American, born in the U.S. raised in Mexico, I met him at Halo (a gay DC bar), exchanged telephone numbers, called, arranged a nice dinner, we talked, a little kissy face, he agrees to go out 2 days later, I tell him I’m married, more kissy face. He writes me, sorry he likes me but can’t go out with a married guy. Very honourable, I am truly impressed. I persist (ok – stop the damn snickering, you know exactly how I operate, no is simply an uncoverted yes), he’s polite but pointed and somewhere the communications stop. If he sees me out, he’s polite but distance. Like the goofy kid I am at heart, I make attempts to communicate. The line is dead.
Well, the problem is I can’t stop thinking about him. I mean like as recent as today. It’s driving me crazy. We had a great but brief time together, now alas months ago. Despite the age difference, we talked about common values, things we were interested in. I respected him. I wanted to please him.
He’s got his own issues, sure we all do. But I imagined him snapping the line on me when I pushed my limits and rewarding me with his passion. He wanted to learn about things in life and I was happy to share my experiences. It just felt good with him, I realize I’m a quick judge, but it did. I wonder if he felt something as well?
So why? Why with this merry-go-round of other people circling me is he still bothering me. My heart won’t tell me.