My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

A matter of words

Last night, TC and I went to dinner with my Colombian friend, Carlos.  Bla bla bla who gives a rat’s ass. When I went to the rest room, Chris took the opportunity to ask Carlos about this blog.

Chris who’s never read this and previously wasn’t that interested, obviously is. Carlos, trying to protect me, told Chris, “you probably shouldn’t read it”. Well – like a Christmas present under a tree, Chris just has to know. The ensuing discussion with me resulted in TC getting quite angry. He doesn’t like that something about himself is flying around on the internet. He wouldn’t speak to me for rest of the evening, I got mad later myself and in another drama moment left and came home alone. Chris drank himself silly and I found him passed out fully clothed in his room this morning.

More troubling, Carlos, who has never met TC before, pulled me aside and quietly told me that Chris is nothing like I portray on this blog. “He’s a lovely sweet person”, was Carlo’s closing comments. I had to think about that. So let me put things right.

I love Chris. It’s taken me awhile to reach this conclusion. We are great together, we fight all the time but we always make up. If you look at our arguments, they’re about little bickering items, he’s messy, I’m cruisy. Our core desires though are similar. He’s loyal and caring towards me.

Early in our relationships, perhaps we were both using each other a bit. He needed a place to stay, I didn’t want to be alone. That was fine. But things have changed. This entire relationship has been on a fast track. On a good day it would be difficult for TC to manage me, not helping are all the external things swirling in our lives. Tough is a understatement.

We’ve discussed our appearances. Come on, a 23 year old with a 47 year old daddy. The reality Chris is a mere 9 years old than my own son. You can imagine the looks when we go out. Boy toy with sugar daddy. In fact, most of his friends privately think he’s become a rent boy, they don’t talk or ask about me. I sorta don’t exist.

I don’t know what the future holds for us. But it’s important for you to realize that despite my oft volcanic emotional eruptions, he’s been a good person and I believe his intentions sincere.

2 Comments

  1. Chris,
    We are only here for the ride…..yes we enjoy the blog (immensely) but the bottom line here is it’s about you. We will all have our opinions about what takes place, but they are only “our” opinions. This is about your journey out.
    You admire women…..but bottom line again, you’re gay and you are just finding out what it means to be a gay man.
    I think you and TC have gone beyond the using part, now you need to decide where each of you want to go…..people use other people, it’s part of life. Love is about risk, are you willing to go there.
    Mark

  2. Just started reading your blog. I’m having a relationship with someone 30 years younger. Not normal for me but the only obstacle (he seems to be ok with it) is the age difference.

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