My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

A dark day

I am sorry my friends but I am reaching the end of my rope. My business is growing just not fast enough, dual living expenses burning the core of my assets, the end of the runway approaching and I’m not at V1, likely gonna go into the trees. Fair weather friends long gone. Main house, could easily dump $20k into it for repairs. A tiger up far up in the Great Northern Territories. Sleep is now elusive to me. I’m mad. Mad at the US gov’t for creating the police state I have to live in. Mad at them doing stupid things. Mad when I see Sarah Palin, clearly not too bright and how this is representative of what this country wants? I’m leaving folks, fast I can, it’s not fast enough though. I won’t come back. Let a Mexican in, he can have my spot on the boat, I won’t be needing it.

I am interviewing. People are calling back. They’re interested. I’ve got a consulting project now, I got another one this week. But I’m just not interested.  It’s always the same, please help us figure out how to unfuck our company. I specialize in saying 3 smart things in an hour long conversation that lend the impression I have some clue or give a shit.  I’m the master of the obvious. Overpaid executives, pompes asses most of them, they seem to be incredibly smart until they’re incredibly dumb. What’s missing is that most things in life are simply luck. No amount of hard work can fix a dumb idea. Look for a good idea. Executives try daily to change those odds.  I’m tired of being in this circular rat race. If this is it, I ain’t coming to the events any more.

I struggle each morning to get to what is truly important to me, what will make me happy? I’m happy with street food, tired of the showy fake people at fancy restaurants with mediocre offerings. I want an $8 bottle of wine, red or white, doesn’t matter.  I am at TC’s rat trap of an apartment, disgusting, dirty, on the border of vile (which by the way is being sold for over $800k  fuck me). We sleep on some nasty ass mattress which simply lies on the floor. But I sleep. I sleep soundly.

There lie signals to me, I fear I am missing them, the signal is weak and my batteries are tired.


  1. I’m only a lurker.

    That said, dark days finally bring forth a post about YOU. You’re seeing things in a new light. Hang on to these revelations and move forward. one-step-at-a-time.

    I’ve been climbing out from very dark places and I can tell you that, yes, there is light. It has taken 3 years (a slow learner)to get to this place.

    Awareness is THE important step to moving on and out of the dark. When you are ready for the new, you will make it happen.

  2. Just to share a quote with you: “When we find ourselves facing adversity, we may think we’ve reached our limit, but actually the more trying the circumstances, the closer we are to making a breakthrough. The darker the night, the nearer the dawn. Victory in life is decided by that last concentrated burst of energy filled with the resolve to win.”

    Hang in there. The most important thing is do not give up hope.

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