It is 4 a.m. in the morning in Washington, DC and damn if the brown tiger isn’t calling me. He’s up in his tree, hidden by the leaves, growling away. I was at my gay professionals group meet-up and I didn’t take my phone in. Well, being unreachable was unacceptable. He was hoping to catch me in a hook-up. Growl. Ain’t he a great tiger. Twitching tail and all.
I put myself out there last night, group of guys, having a dinner. Nice group, they chat, it’s not a drunken hook-up event, a little older (meaning > 30). At this point, my position is I’m in a relationship (true enough) and been in one for 3 years (anniversary next month – start thinking about my present), fair enough. Chatting with early 30’s guy and who exclaims that “3 years is a long long time”. Wow. He details how he’s sworn off relationships, too much work. And kids, oh please.
His life is his ‘girlfriend’ and a Krusty the Crab older guy who hang out together. The older guy is bemoaning too much drinking the night before and heads off to the WC. I innocently ask where they had gone and with some hesitation admitted they’d been at the Crew Club, a local DC gay sauna. Yuck.
Overall, it was a nice night, fun to chat, the majority of guys weren’t texting away, nervously looking around the room. A bit more settled. So something to be recommended.
The organically grown gay guy, as I’ve written, unless someone puts training wheels on them, struggles with how a relationship works and the 2-way nature of it. I was bit shocked that the early 30’s guy didn’t see the value, deeming it more effort than reward. Likely, he’s not achieved a level of intimacy with another to have the tumblers fall in to place. I also recognized that in knowing my gay professional organizer, he never seems to be dating anyone, it’s been a year now. What’s up with that?
I hang on to my twitching tiger, fearing that I will endure a lengthy training process with any new recruit. But I am at peace as I realize I am more knowledged in the ways of relationship.