My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

5 days to Tiger Time

It is 4 a.m. in the morning in Washington, DC and damn if the brown tiger isn’t calling me. He’s up in his tree, hidden by the leaves, growling away. I was at my gay professionals group meet-up and I didn’t take my phone in. Well, being unreachable was unacceptable. He was hoping to catch me in a hook-up. Growl. Ain’t he a great tiger. Twitching tail and all.

I put myself out there last night, group of guys, having a dinner. Nice group, they chat, it’s not a drunken hook-up event, a little older (meaning > 30). At this point, my position is I’m in a relationship (true enough) and been in one for 3 years (anniversary next month – start thinking about my present), fair enough. Chatting with early 30’s guy and who exclaims that “3 years is a long long time”. Wow. He details how he’s sworn off relationships, too much work. And kids, oh please.

His life is his ‘girlfriend’ and a Krusty the Crab older guy who hang out together. The older guy is bemoaning too much drinking the night before and heads off to the WC. I innocently ask where they had gone and with some hesitation admitted they’d been at the Crew Club, a local DC gay sauna. Yuck.

Overall, it was a nice night, fun to chat, the majority of guys weren’t texting away, nervously looking around the room. A bit more settled. So something to be recommended.

The organically grown gay guy, as I’ve written, unless someone puts training wheels on them, struggles with how a relationship works and the 2-way nature of it. I was bit shocked that the early 30’s guy didn’t see the value, deeming it more effort than reward. Likely, he’s not achieved a level of intimacy with another to have the tumblers fall in to place. I also recognized that in knowing my gay professional organizer, he never seems to be dating anyone, it’s been a year now. What’s up with that?

I hang on to my twitching tiger, fearing that I will endure a lengthy training process with any new recruit. But I am at peace as I realize I am more knowledged in the ways of relationship.


  1. Chris – why didn’t i think of that before, Calvin & Hobbes cartoon is the perfect metaphor for your relationship with TC. Calvin is always dreaming up new adventures (that would be you) and Hobbes plays along as trusty sidekick (that’s TC). I love C&H, I have all the books and even the special compilation set. Anyway, 3 years is long time to be together if you think about it, especially with all the challenges you’ve had. I hope you celebrate in a big way, make passionate love together, renew your promises with romantic declarations and just be all lovey dovey.

  2. Wow, almost 3 yrs eh? Congrats! I still read eventhough I don’t comment often. That’s insane how guys in their 30’s and 40’s are okay with acting like their in their 20’s. Drink, hook up, repeat. I wonder if that’s the case with straight men too but the gay guys are more visible to me…

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