My ‘friend’ Clay and his professional meet up group have now spent an entire week talking/writing about the “group purpose”. He posted 7 Facebook updates yesterday about his interest. I suddenly realized how emotionally immature he is for a 41 yo. He’s biggest accomplishment to date is a ‘2 year relationship’. WTF.
Single in the City reminded me he’s well over 30. Like well over. Like damn I should have used the rest room at the last exit. What’s he going to do? He can only play a 20ish twink for so long, right?
Prof. Tim, late 30’s, bankable history of long term relationships, now celebrating 10 years in a relationship. He too frets. “Chris, I need to keep my life sorted, I’m not going to be marketable much longer”.
And then we have your old pal Chris. 49. Just not a good story. What’s that smell? My god pour it down the drain. The use by date was yesterday.
I/we (not them) got married. Marriage is a lot like bumper cars. Once you’re in the car, you might get jolted a bit but you’re safe. It’s best, though, to steer with a light touch if you want to make any progress. It’s near about impossible to drive off the pad, hit the little wall and you’ll be bounced back into the center. You can ride around for the rest of your life, plenty to entertain you, people to bump into.
In the gay world, the cars have no bumpers, there is no little wall to keep you fenced in on the pad and sadly there is not that many other drivers to engage with. Ride around for a while by yourself and damn if you’re not doing or imagining some strange things.
I write on this same theme because I want you to take the many things you learned in marriage and apply them in to your new life. I’m strongly urging not to try to adapt to their rules. They don’t have any and most are based on staying forever ‘hot’.
The reality is you have a lot to offer, the challenge is to show your emotional security without appearing old n’ busted. Where is my little brown tiger?