I’m sitting at the Rome airport. My 4 days in this great city is now over. TC is on a train to Florence. We had a fantastic time, Rome truly is a world city not to be missed, I could have stayed another week and still felt I hadn’t seen everything.
I’m sick of men, more trouble than they’re worth. I’ve resigned myself to just be alone. I’ve fast forwarded my way thru gaydom this far, why not just get to what is the final destination. I’m just tired of the entire scene. It’s so predictable.
When I married at 30, I was on life’s little train. Marriage, nice girl, have kids, settle down, raise kids, send them on into life, watch them start their life and then move into some golden period of your life. It’s like a classic movie that you’re willing to see over and over again. I was on that path, I liked that path. That path is no more.
TC returns to London Thursday night and I leave back to the U.S. on Friday. I’m going to break the news he needs to find a new place by May 3rd. I hinted a couple of times here in Rome. It’s been nice to have him around, I haven’t been terribly lonely. But I need to be alone, I need to start getting used to it.
So as quickly as I entered the gay scene, bars, gaydar, match.com, Village Drinks — I’m gonna leave it. No more energy left. I’m not depressed. I’ve had a great time. I’m just a strategic long-range thinker and I see beyond the fog.