Was about to shut this blog down until I realized it still gets some regular readers. Consider my last article was written in 2015, it’s fair to say – I’m not a prolific writer. But you’re here and the material may still be relevant so it remains ‘alive’ so to speak.
It’s hard to believe that 12+ years have passed since I started this journey. A lot has changed in terms of public perceptions. However, if you’re married with kiddies and discover you’d like to get naked with Hank down at the plant perhaps my story may still have some relevance. My story though is some unique, yours will be too.
I’m still with Scrappy, my boyfriend read partner and this month (November) we will celebrate 12 years together. It strikes me only a small % of gay men manage to have long term relationships, many get caught up in the never ending hunt for the perfect cock. But what is long term and does this really matter?
San Francisco is super gay so we don’t elicit so much as an odd stare but as we’ve traveled we’re much less an oddity than in the early days. For the most part people don’t care. In many respects, all the ‘drama’ in this blog was my own doing and I couldn’t have saved everyone (myself included) a long drawn out series of stories by just getting on with things.
My wife and I are still ironically married, though she has a boyfriend. He’s an older guy, Latin, he has a lot of touchy feel’y discussions which I don’t care for. But she’s happy, so that’s all I needed.. We all spent Christmas together last year as a Modern Family. My kids are all fine, one has graduated university, calls me every day, has a good job and getting on with his profession. The other, more artisty, will likely have a bit more interesting path.
I have not climbed the hump of telling people my ‘status’. Perhaps I’m from a long forgotten era. I’m not sure why, I don’t think anyone would care at this juncture and I seem more mysterious by not talking about people in my life. I still need to work on this, I’m not sure anyone would have negative reactions as they may have previously. So if you’re just now joining the club, it’s a great time. I can only imagine what it was like in the 60’s or 50’s or 30’s. My journey was fair easier. Yours will be as well.
The gay life is pretty boring. It’s nearly identical to being married. Cook, clean, hangout, watch TV, a little travel. We rarely go to gay venues (mostly because I’m not allowed), have no gay friends (mostly because I’m not allowed – see below) to a large extend we continue to exist much like we did in the early days. Neither of our families have any clue what’s going on. Again I think this is a problem.
Like any marriage, sex becomes less interesting with time and a tiger must keep his claws sharpened (right)! So I’m guilt of being flirt and somehow I still got game (though Scrappy tells me it’s all imaginary) and I regularly get into trouble for chatting someone up. This usually ends with Scrappy bounding over scaring my new found friend away and me getting a good lecture. Some things never change.
So read on and good luck with your own experience!