My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

2008 is fading

I'm sitting on the can, hoping for some inspiration. The bathroom, toliet, WC, the place where we all sometimes do our best thinking. Alone with our thoughts. No one dare bother you.

Image411 The challenge is always to be honest with yourself You gotta be your own toughest critic, friends will always try and pump sunshine up your ass. I am currently unemployed because I f*cked up. I went radio silent and disappeared in Europe, while clueless executives were looking for me to pull some rabbit out of a hat and were paying me handsomely to do it. Alas they got nada.

But I invested one year trying to figure out what a 'gay' relationship looked like. I'm glad I took the time, it will save me later down the road. I realize I did not have the best game at the moment. But I also realize that no matter how smart I may think I am, I can't help the helpless. My previous company is helpless, I know how the story plays out from here, there will be no happy ending, it's called the death spiral. Executives think they're even smarter. God love'em I haven't been wrong too many times.

One of my friends runs a hedge fund, he's calling to check in, I tell him my plight. I'm poking around in my network of contacts, in theory looking for a job. "Why are you looking for a job? Why do you want to work for the "man" again?", he asks. "It's time to go do something else, it's time for a change, you know what you do well, so get on with it and f*ck this job search bullsh*t". A good point.

As I've written before, I find most people are f*cked up because, well, they wanna be f*cked up. Life is pretty simple and thus if you're unwilling to change, risk a little, rely on your instincts to guide you, well don't be surprised if the compass doesn't move off the current heading.

2008 is almost done, I did accomplish quite a bit. 2009 is in the wings. Time for a new, slicker Chris to emerge. If you've been reading for a while, I hope you think about your own life. I may come off as a total pessimist but deep down we all need to be eternal optimist.

3 Comments

  1. good luck. look me up if you’re ever ‘home.’

  2. good luck. look me up if you’re ever ‘home.’

  3. Chris, No way are pessimistic. You are the quintessential optimist!
    And I think I am now ready to take your piece of advice a little more to heart:
    “Life is pretty simple and thus if you’re unwilling to change, risk a little, rely on your instincts to guide you, well don’t be surprised if the compass doesn’t move off the current heading.”
    Getting ready for 09 is a good time for me to break through my unwillingness to change, or at least to be more critical of myself and explore options. Thanks.

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