After months of worry, Tiger Cub’s sister had her baby at just a bit after 6 a.m. this morning. TC was at the hospital having stayed with his family all night. He was exhausted, only a few hours of sleep I don’t come from a close family, but TC does, his father has 11 brothers & sisters. The entire family mustering to support this newborne baby. Must be a sight.
TC was going back to the hospital but quickly agreed we need to see each other. Sooner the better. So it looks like later this week I will climb back on some flying bucket of bolts and wing it 3,852 miles to see him. Perhaps stay a week, I quickly discussed going to Montreal for the weekend. Prof Tim urging TC and I to come back via Chicago (the poor little Mexicans need me). I’ll figure it out.
You don’t know TC, but he’s making the effort. He calls every day. A miracle even to me. In London, he would often go weeks without calling his family. Never checking email. Never turning his mobile phone on. I didn’t fear he would disappear, but rather just re-appear on his own schedule. His daily calls thus showing a great deal of his own feelings.
I have an investment in him, I hope he feels the same way. But if he doesn’t, there’s not much I can do. As much as you want, you can’t “will” another person into doing something they don’t want to do. Hope is a powerful thing but hope can quickly become hopeless, if you let it.
I’m alone and lonely. I remain under self-imposed house arrest. I’m trying to be good. I’m even bored with porn. I just want my little tiger back.
But the reality, in London, I didn’t give my job my all. TC and I many days getting up late, a mid morning romp then off to lunch, going out of town, in general work was a well paid hobby for a couple of months. Alone, I’ve found some renewed creativity and started cranking out notes & ideas and been back on the phone with colleagues (8 telephone lines in the house – best not to ask). I’m back in the game.
If all of this (this being a fairly wide apron of stuff) just doesn’t work out, well, I’ll just move on. Until death, there’s always something new coming. Up and to the right, you don’t wanna be in any other box.