I appreciate emails I get from folks because sometimes I hit a topic that dislodges something in their own minds and compels them to write. I'm not sure though if I should be a reference model for anyone based upon my track record.
So yesterday, a mid-30's guy writes, says he's dated women (I assume he had some kind of intimate relations), but always took a fancy to guys, particularly younger guys and he's not married. He'd obviously pondered it a bit, did the whole Internet "no one knows I'm looking" porn route, an finally worked up enough courage to hit up a local gay bar. Insert coin in slot, pull handle, and out popped a nice Latino boy for him to take home. At home, he goes thru the motions and the mission is completed. Only he didn't like the mission as much as he thought he would. So he was left wondering — what does that mean?
The question is how gay are you? Well I don't know, how gay do you wanna be?
God love the gay guy who goes out or never goes out with a women and quickly determines it's not for him. TC, for example, could never imagine himself having sex with a women. He makes faces when he thinks about it. The other night, he'd attracted this hot girl (women just love him) and I was ogling away at her boobs (equal opportunity pervert that I can be) until he smacked me for being a dirty old man. So I'm more in the middle than he is.
My first sexual experiences with anyone, male or female, is always a bit awkward. I'm not comfortable. I'm not one to just go into the mode. I need to know someone. Trust is important. TC commenting that our love life is a whole lot better now than when we first met. Pity the person who quickly judges their sexual compatibility based upon a single experience. But I digress.
I guess I may forever be left wondering whether I should, could or would hop back over the fence. I haven't. So that should be an answer. So maybe my reader should try again, take things a bit slower, perhaps rather than just picking someone up, he could just checkout the gay scene a bit and see how he feels about it. Maybe he needs some warm-up time or maybe just find the right person.
On a personal note: I thought I was past my Latino phase, I'm not obviously.