My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Category: Public (page 1 of 289)

The pages herein

cb707736f573f07d8e9d00512f0c6da0Is it 2015 already? Figured it was time to refresh here (at least once a year). If you’ve arrived at the blog, you likely have been searching about on the Internet on this topic and managed to get here. I suggest starting this blog using the link “Read from the Beginning.” It’s a short, it’s a novel, it’s a made for TV movie. A lot of hairy moments, some funny episodes and plenty of personal drama to keep you entertained for hours. It’s all true. It all really happened just like I’ve written.

Time has aged this blog. I don’t write much any more. My story has moved on. Readership has fallen, you’re one of probably 10-20 visitors today. But those readers tend to read the entire website. I gather they get some value from it thus I leave the blog running. Running for you.

I hope you get some answers from the questions I tried to answer. I often feel I answered more wrong than right. In the dark quiet of night I often asked myself why I did this and where is this now going. But these are questions we all ask ourselves, no matter who we are.

So enjoy and good look on your own trip out.

I screw up, but I’m still discriminated against

Recently I was the MC at technology conference where my job was to keep the audience awake during speaker change overs. For fun, we had two raffles and I had asked one of the girls (a 20-something) who was working for one of the sponsor companies to come up and help with the drawing. The hot room was packed with a mostly male audience and the A/C was struggling to keep up, in introducing the girl I said, “well guys the I’m sorry the room is hot but to make the room a little hotter let me introduce XYZ to help with our drawing.”

The event went on and we had another raffle and again I called her up again for the raffle and again referred to her hotness (she’s really sort of average looking to be honest). The event continued and I was there at the back of the room and some dour old bitch came up to me how she “didn’t appreciate all the sexiest comments” and walked off. Realizing perhaps my comment wasn’t welcome I quickly found the girl (she’d been helping me for weeks with the event and we’d gotten on well) and profusely apologized.

Well as bitches do, one of girl’s colleagues at the event likely gets all excited about this sexual harassment or at best in appropriate comment and returns to the office complaining. Couple of days later, the CEO (someone I know) sends me a short note saying he had a complaint, while he wasn’t there, he felt it was inappropriate and basically told me to go fuck myself in them doing anything with me for the next 8 or 9 thousand years (your mileage will vary). Clearly he needed to ensure the damn bitch didn’t try and sue him in the litigation prone US (it’s all about money in businesses, don’t let anyone fool you).

Ironically, at lunch today with another CEO (who wants to hire me) he’s explaining to me how they have extra sensitive people (whatever that means) and how they recently hired a woman who had complained about woman harassment (not sexual, just a work place against women in general) at another large tech company by no less the CEO. Long story short – that CEO was forced to resign.

I’m talking to Scrappy about all of this. Women love him, every women turns into a fag hag around him. He denoted I do lack sensitivity sometimes but he remarked about what level of discrimination I might face as a 50-something homo with kids/family and a now 31 year old brown hair stylist partner. Indeed, most of my life is submerged. If I go way public, no one would say a thing, but no doubt I might find few opportunities. I often wonder what is said behind my back (not that I care all that much).

Now before you start writing a nasty comment. My off the cuff comment to this poor girl was wrong. It was inappropriate in any setting and particularly a public setting. No excuses. I’m guilty. More concerning is we (mainly in the US) go to DefCon 1 perhaps too quickly.

While the gay world has made great strides. Plenty of people remain uncomfortable and downright hostile toward the gay community. Gays in the work force suffer a silent harassment.

San Francisco Update

I apologize, I was too lame to update the IP address recently and this blog went dark. I’m not putting a lot of care and feeding in to this, but I do know that people discover it, start the beginning, read the whole damn thing and somehow I hope it helps them.

I’m enduring a bit of culture shock in San Francisco. The number of homeless people (all mental ill from what  I can figure) is scary, entire city smells of piss. The lack of any transportation system (buses stop on each corner and it faster to walk than endure a smelly bus filled with homeless people ranting).  My biggest shock is how soft Americans are in this uber liberal city. I may have to become a Republican again. But I digress (again).

Scrap doodle also known as my partner/BF/BFF/live-in has gone by to Canada for the summer and my 21 year old son moved in with me so he could complete a summer internship. I’m living with boxes of stuff and still haven’t fully unpacked. Adding my current job isn’t the most stable and not helping, I hate it anyways. So I came to the city to find a new opportunity and so I shall.

Scrappy and I visited the Castro, and in fairness the city is very gay friendly it’s almost as if it doesn’t matter. But similar to Hong Kong, we don’t hang out in the ‘hood or feel some need to be in close contact with the gay community. Is that bad?

I told Scrappy as we landed in San Francisco, that the tone of our relationship needed to change, it’s time to re-up. It’s hard to believe in 7 years together I’ve never met his family and perhaps he’s not met my family (brother or parents) but he knows my wife & kids. The brown pseudo-Indian culture perhaps makes this difficult. They never ask him a single question about his relationships or how or why he’s in some city. It’s actually their loss isn’t it.

Periodically I will skim the skanky sites and indeed there are married men looking for trouble. I wonder whether they actually follow thru or simply voyeurs. Maybe they just have some dark side they need explore for jollies. I fully understand when men get caught doing something and get asked the obvious question, “why’d you do it”, they have this big dunno face. I don’t think they (we) really know. As long as you’re within the bounds of legal and no one getting hurt I guess you’re fine. The moral compass element perhaps missing, but I’m not a bible thumper, I’m realistic about how the world really works.

So please read, enjoy, laugh, cry but the biggest difference in us from other animals is our ability to think, so try that out every now and again.

Older posts

© 2017 My Trip Out

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑